BEST FRIENDS

Water house ladies enjoying the weather :) 

TODAY WAS A WONDERFUL DAY

CJ: We did the laundry, we got groceries, we scheduled a U-haul for the move! We met up with Jonathan, our Detroit guardian angel, and we painted a picture, all of us together painted a picture.

Today will forever be a great memory in Detroit.

Do Something

Tina: a day of missed communication
waking up too late
panic and regret

we fight on occasion
today was a tough one
went to walk by myself
a hawk flew so close it almost touched my cheek
i kid you not
we sit here because we don't know what else to do with ourselves.
it was unbelievably grey outside today.

belle isle back in the day....not exactly what its like walking around now...

Gem

CJ: 

God Must Be a Bird

Tina:

I'm learning new things about Detroit.
Today I learned that native Detroiters here have coping mechanisms. Lots of them.
They simply avoid certain gas stations, 'party stores', corner stores, blocks, corners, alleys
They don't seem to stress how dangerous things really are
Instead they go to the same gas station they know is safe
avoid fear

I've purposely gone to places I thought looked dangerous because I'm tough
I've walked the dog at midnight on a Saturday night
I've been inside the liquor store with thick clouded windows
I've stressed myself and scared myself because I'm tough
I've ignored the used condom on my doorstep and his stolen bicycle

Its not that its not bad here, its about avoidance to keep sanity.
People physically cannot live in fear for long periods of time.
They cope. They walk a little bit out of the way or plan ahead

Yesterday I prayed with a drug dealer who lost everything
Sometimes I think God lives in the birds here in Detroit

The small creatures that survive

There is no spoon

CJ:

Everyday has become an effort to alleviate pressure: pressure to find our purpose, pressure to "make-it", pressure to achieve greatness, pressure to make money, pressure to respond to e-mails, pressure to avoid offending people, pressure to figure out the logistics.

In the movie The Matrix, a little boy teaches Neo how to bend a spoon with his mind saying, "do not try to bend the spoon, rather try to bend the air around the spoon, and remember, there is no spoon."

There is not spoon, there is no spoon, there is no spoon.

(Nyla's all like- "What spoon? What's a spoon? Walk?!")

Steady Growth

Found this online today. Mm stunning. Incredibly human.  It captures something within.

Tina: It snowed today. It is currently snowing! Oh March, you crazy month. I spent the night consumed in a book. Don't  you love when that happens? I ate a quick dinner and tucked myself in bed with a pot of tea and a new friend. Ah. Bliss. I haven't finished the book yet, but I very much love it already. Miss Nyla has been not feeling too good. CJ didn't want to commemorate the experience via Internet, but its safe to say there is a strong odor of poop and vinegar in The Water House...CJ's least favorite smells combined. Lovely. Hahaha. I really hope she'll be back to herself tomorrow.

Remember Vacant Lots?

CJ:
It's true, we'll be moving! We will, however, be continuing the water house blog- even though we will not longer be living in this water house technicallllyy.

One of the questions we've been getting the most has been, "where will you be moving to?" Fantastic question! We don't know :)

We feel that we need a little distance before we plan our next major step. For the meantime, we know we'll be heading back to upstate NY for a couple weeks. And that's all we need to know. So I suppose that makes Tranquility Base our next stop on the road.


(Check out our blog previous! We spent a month or so at Tranquility Base a little while back.)

vacantlotstheaterpiece.blogspot.com

On Faith

Tina:

I am learning that I am a woman.

To me that means I stand in my truth.

That can be hard for me.

I often seek approval of authority figures and avoid judgement from others.

I am letting that go.

I am a woman and to me that means I listen to my spirit.

My spirit is telling me it is time to leave Detroit.

It has been saying that for some time now.

CJ:

I am learning what it means to be a man.

To be steadfast and true.

To know fear and bravery.

To know god in the minutia.

I have seen the face of change.

I have seen change gallop like a steed.

And I have been afraid.

Only he who knows fear can say they may know bravery.

Only he who knows god in the minutia has hope of knowing gods greatness.

Tina:

We've decided its time to leave Detroit.

We're grateful to everyone who helped us on our path here.

We're grateful to those who journey with us.

i am

CJ:

i am a great power- made of more than stone and brick.
an expansive force- a tracing force

i am a tree standing firm just on the edge of the precipice, just before-
a crane peering past low rushes, pruned and royal

a goblet and an urn
a grand deception- an idea

i am a complex of relationships
born of pure necessity for contact, for touch

what am i?
a holy grail.

Winter Song Collection

Guess who came out with a new mixtape?

http://realwhitelotus.bandcamp.com

Fear

Tina: I didn't blog yesterday because it turned out to be a really strange night for me and CJ. I won't go into too much detail but late last night someone banged on our door and scared the shit out of us. We spent the rest of the night in panic mode hoping that no one would break in. Miss Nyla didn't get her walk for sure. This morning we found out that CJ's bike was stolen from under our stoop. Its been there all winter and its pretty busted up. I wish they would have asked us because we would have given it away in a heartbeat and eliminated everyones fear. Aside from that, it was an extremely windy night and everything just felt eerie and strange. We're both fine, but needless to say we didn't sleep too well. This morning we were still recovering from the night-long adrenaline rush.

Its a strange feeling to have real fear in your own home and in your own bed. I'm still processing all of it.

Change- from two years into infinity.

CJ: Today was our second anniversary of dating! Although you would expect today to be a day of looking back, it turned out to be a day that wrenched our gaze forward, into the unknown.

Life happens. We'll be experiencing change.

A vision- I see change running along a suspension bridge, leaping blockades, grinning white teeth through a dark face wearing rags of grey and black. He is billowing and un-billowing a sack like an umbrella, rampaging towards me.

Godspeed Change. Who are you?

(We'll be there together- )

Small Moments

Tina: I have this thing with honesty. Vulnerability. For some reason I can't stop believing that being truly true to myself can only result in good things, no matter how painful or how long it takes me to get there. I struggle with my relationship to my couch and my life after work. When I am truly honest, all I feel like I do is sit, crochet, watch wedding tv, and eat. I always swore to myself that I wouldn't be one of those people who watched tv every night, but I was wrong. I've blamed Detroit, my job, my sadness, the winter  - because I am still unsure of what to make. What to do with myself. I've tried to pray over and over and all I feel like I hear is to 'settle into it.' Yet, I don't want to settle when I feel like a glutton.

CJ: Today we cleaned up major (something which is becoming a sunday tradition). Then we took care of some errands around town, and got footage on belle isle for my new music video. After that, I think Tina read a whole damn book and we just hung out at the water house.

Sundays are always refreshing and healing for me, my favorite day of the week.

Me and Nyla in front of the Detroit City skyline. (Taken from Belle Isle)

My strong and beautiful love. (She don't take no shit from nobody.)

One of the most captivating abandoned buildings we've seen here, taken from route 94 which cuts across mid-town.

Sleep All Day Saturday

Tina: Welcome to "Sleep All Day Saturday" (thanks for the new term Seej)
CJ: Oh no problem love, I aim to please. And what a "Sleep All Day Saturday" it has been, am I right? Today we planned on planning nothing. Aimed at accomplishing little. Focussed on getting distracted!
Tina:Yes, yes! We've also not stopped eating today. Fresh baked bread, chips and salsa, apple crisp, soup, easy candy...and saving the best for last...warm cookies and ice cream...ohh yeaaa
CJ: OH YEAH! (forgot about the ice cream.) We have always had a knack for experimenting with different types of adventures. Even though this has been a little adventure, it has had all the stuff adventures are supposed to have. An element of risk! (This is the only saturday we got this week, and we put it all on the line.) Twists and turns! (Nobody expected Nyla to lick my face today, she never licks.) Ups and downs! (We tried two different movies, and they both weren't good, never made it to the end of either.)
Tina: And what is an adventure without an epiphany! We both had a 'secret' planned for Sleep All Day Saturday and unbeknownst to both of us, we both were planning on renting all of the Miyazaki films and we both failed! (the only video stores in Detroit are for adults only, if you know what I'm saying...)
CJ: As we approach our second anniversary of being together, I think a little success, a little failure, and a tandem blog post at the end of it all is very appropriate. In these past two years we have been through LITERALLY EVERYTHING. (jkjk) but for real though, this relationship has opened up my mind and heart.

back in the day...

OOPS

CJ: I forgot to blog so I make a shame face while holding the beautiful candy Tina made today in preparation for our March Of March event tomorrow: Sleep All Day Saturday. Its gonna be glorious.

Circles

Tina: I've been reading lots of books lately and it feels nice. A book is like a friend. I remember when my mom used to say that. I don't think I can write as well on a screen as in a notebook. I journal every day. It feels good. I get distracted by screens. My job shit is shit. I'm really growing old in the office. It feels like expiring. I have trouble sitting up straight. Pita with plain vegetables is pretty dry. This entry is sounding kind of stupid. I'm proud for blogging anyways. I know I'm not alone in my 20Something lost-ness. There are plenty of others. When I try to look up data about our generation all that comes up is buzzfeed or blogs about "20 Things to do in your 20's" or "20 things I learned in my 20's" I suppose this is all a form of data. A form in which our generation is shouting into cyber space begging for answers. I suppose I'm doing the same.

wintersong (excerpt from a draft) : whitelotus

CJ:

all of that dark i been tryin to steer
clear though peace no provided here
we pray about a season this time of year
and i'm saying what the people aint tryna hear

so it- might appear the night reveres a lotus (hey)
i don't wanna plead phony but i gotta say what i gotta say to get inside of the door-

i live in a war
i live in a generation scattered by divorce

i'm hotter than before!
hotter than i ever been a better metaphor-
coulda been thought of but i was feelin sentimental
and i been at the bottom but now i'm fin to go and meddle like i'm scooby
or winter olympics
everything eventually becomes vintage

and this is what rich is: speaking from the mind knowing i am not a business
i am not offended by the f***in analytics
even at my worst, i am proud to struggle with it

proud to struggle; proud to f***in fail.
with all they f***in sell? wow they f***in stale, while they buggin out, i been on my trail

(and i 'ont even care, trill shit from a motherf***ah fo' rell)

and where the f**k is lotus? who the f**k last spoke to his ass?
and what is passion? what is greatness? what is rash?
and how was this winter?

             - damn homie i suggest you don't ask.

Conversations with God

Tina: An excerpt from my morning pages:

"I want to hear God. I want to know what to do next. What do I need to do here in Detroit, God? - Love yourself - Is that really it? I came to the most difficult city in America to learn how to love myself? - If thats what it takes, yes. And you will be back here again or harder places, however long it takes to learn child. - learn what? - that you are enough. that you are enough even if you watch tv every night. even if you lie or sit all day, you still are enough. - So you're saying I need to learn to love myself even when i feel like a total waste? - something like that - so how do I do it? Just accept it? That's what CJ says - you don't have to accept it. it can still be painful, but you can embrace it. settle into that couch. know that new things will be coming, but treat the couch as if it is just as hard as grad school or being super busy. does that make sense? just because it is the couch or an office doesn't make it 'easier'. it's still just as hard (if not harder) for you - ok. i think i get it. it makes sense. so i need to get cozy. really sit into it. sink into it and still love myself for all that i am - yup - do you think i can do it? - this is what you wanted. you wanted this life to be about facing your greatest challenge yet, yourself. you've become quite a monster to yourself and you are a brave, brave, brave soul for doing this. i'm proud of you - thanks. so this is not a 'rest life'? - haha no, you, rest? - I guess with the appearance of nothing to do, it sometimes feel like resting and that gets me scared - that is exactly what you wanted to face. you've had plenty of busy lives. you can get yourself thru anything my dear- thanks. thank you. i'm glad to hear you so clearly right now. i'm grateful - me as well - thanks. i suppose i don't have to say goodbye because you never really leave - true - ha. ok. well thanks. i'm going to go back to sitting and 'working on resting'. thats funny. i need to pee. thanks God. i love you. my eyes are droopy and thats ok.

March-of-March Week 2 (w/ Katie Thatcherrr)

Sorry for the lack of posts, but we needed some quality catch-up time with a dear friend :) 

Many exciting times to come! Happy March-of-March everybody!

Mr. Robin

Tina: I want to start by saying, thanks for all of the loveee for my collages! Mm, it feels good to share them.

Does anyone know how to link 2 blogs together? I want to have a page on this blog that links another blog/project CJ and I have been working on. Let me know if you guys know how to do it. I'm stumped.

This life is interesting. Sometimes I want moments to last forever and sometimes I wish I could push time away. I'm grateful for this place even though this has been quite a ride. I still don't feel like I've grasped why I am in Detroit. Hopefully it will reveal itself soon. I'm still waiting. Its kind of like waiting for spring.


There is fat robin that I always see in the mornings when I walk Nyla in the cold. He must not like to sit on branches because I only see him resting on the earth. When we approach closer, he flies slowly to safety (even tho he doesn't seem at all nervous). Perhaps he wants to warm the earth with his belly. At first, I thought he was dead. His plump body on the concrete. I suppose he is resting. Sitting on the earth as if he's sitting on an egg. (grow, grow, grow)

On Staying In Touch

CJ:

I am only now learning to appreciate old friendships. For my entire life I have skipped from one stage to the next, allowing friendships to remain or fade without trying. This approach did me well- I found myself always in the present and pleasantly surprised by those who stayed connected with me.

However, I think this approach also fed something selfish in me- something that said if they really appreciate me, they'll make the effort to keep in touch with me. And that's how it has been. My long term friendships have either been thanks to the other making effort and taking care to value the friendship or they have been the type of friendship that needs no maintenance.

Now I am realizing how valuable it is to speak to someone who knows me. I now know the joys of a phone call with an old friend. I am no longer concerned with who contacts who and I am no longer afraid of losing my present presence by spending wistful hours on the telephone.

I love those who have loved me and I hope you know it.

SAMO artwork created by friends Al Diaz and Jean Michelle Basquiat

breaking news

"Forecasters say Detroit is the hardest hit this season, with more than 78 inches of snow and 13 days of temperatures below zero."

"Metro Detroit endures coldest winter in 36 years, snowiest in 133."  Detroit News

WE PICKED ONE HELL OF A WINTER TO MOVE HERE. 

CJ:
I remember writing poems this way (like how this one is)
When I was in the eighth grade
And presenting them in class
And people saying I'm just writing rap lyrics and handing them in as homework

Which was true
And thats how I got through college too
Now there's no homework, just Detroit.

And facebook likes and youtube vids as if that meant we're cool we're staying in touch
and Blogger.

So I went to a class today about Brecht taught by a friend, and it reminded me of all that mess:
I was kind of unfocussed and acted like a blunder bus cause I get distracted thinking about-
How all different translations of the original german can be so different but come from

The same text.

(Bertolt Brecht)

March-of-March: Dearborn

Tina: Happy Sunday! So we've officially begun March or "March of March" as we're calling it here at The Water House. March is notoriously tough for me--something to do with lack of vacation, wanting spring, and five weekends in one month? To combat this, I've always tried to make March SUPER fun (since high school actually). I try to plan one fun thing each weekend to look forward to.

Today we had a new and fascinating experience! We toured the Arabic markets and bakeries in Dearborn (about 20 minutes away from us in Detroit). Aside from the ridiculously cheap prices, it was so cool to see the growing economy, new foods, and people with so much history and culture! Also, It is nice to see new things (especially when it feels like the sun has been hiding for days).


We also got our food processor! (YESSS) and thanks to our super nice neighbors with their delicious blackberries we were able to have Round1 of spring smoothies for breakfast!
(strawberries, blackberries, ice, honey, oats, and chia seeds!)






Also...not trying to brag BUT we got all of this incredible
                             produce for only $34? 

8 avocados
2 heads of broccoli
2 heads of cauliflower
2 bunches of parsley
2 bunches of cilantro
6 peppers
12 vine ripe tomatoes
2 bags of spinach
10 lemons
3 bags of pita (fresh baked!)
1 bag of grapefruit (my favorite!)
olive oil
3 bunches of bananas
2 bags of apples
5 boxes of strawberries!

Needless to say if ANY of you want some produce, we can definitely make it happen :)
(after CJ and Nyla wake up from their nap...)

Speak My Truth

CJ:

Every day is its own. We've begun the 20 Something Project in ernest. If there is one thing I know about being 20 something, before we even begin doing interviews, it's that this is a time for being lost. It is amazing how much my own desires can change from one month to the next, from one week to the next, from one day to the next, and from moment to moment. I often feel that Tina and I are on an unending journey of highs and lows as we search for "purpose".

I suppose I can remember feeling this way at many times in my life, but there is something special about this age in particular. It is the first time we can actually decide to do things. We are not chained into a high school schedule, we aren't committed to a degree program. If we decide to move, we can actually just do it.

It's something I've dreamed of for a long time. Now that it's here I find it to be stressful as much as it is liberating. I've never actually had to decide where I wanted to live or what I wanted my contribution to society to be, those things have always been laid out before me by heritage.

I'm glad I have someone to journey with. Tina and I just had a conversation about how we are grateful to be able to speak our truth to each other on a daily basis. Some days are grueling and filled with pressure and indecision. We are being pulled in many directions, and we know nothing for sure. We are lucky to have each other in this time.