"I want to hear God. I want to know what to do next. What do I need to do here in Detroit, God? - Love yourself - Is that really it? I came to the most difficult city in America to learn how to love myself? - If thats what it takes, yes. And you will be back here again or harder places, however long it takes to learn child. - learn what? - that you are enough. that you are enough even if you watch tv every night. even if you lie or sit all day, you still are enough. - So you're saying I need to learn to love myself even when i feel like a total waste? - something like that - so how do I do it? Just accept it? That's what CJ says - you don't have to accept it. it can still be painful, but you can embrace it. settle into that couch. know that new things will be coming, but treat the couch as if it is just as hard as grad school or being super busy. does that make sense? just because it is the couch or an office doesn't make it 'easier'. it's still just as hard (if not harder) for you - ok. i think i get it. it makes sense. so i need to get cozy. really sit into it. sink into it and still love myself for all that i am - yup - do you think i can do it? - this is what you wanted. you wanted this life to be about facing your greatest challenge yet, yourself. you've become quite a monster to yourself and you are a brave, brave, brave soul for doing this. i'm proud of you - thanks. so this is not a 'rest life'? - haha no, you, rest? - I guess with the appearance of nothing to do, it sometimes feel like resting and that gets me scared - that is exactly what you wanted to face. you've had plenty of busy lives. you can get yourself thru anything my dear- thanks. thank you. i'm glad to hear you so clearly right now. i'm grateful - me as well - thanks. i suppose i don't have to say goodbye because you never really leave - true - ha. ok. well thanks. i'm going to go back to sitting and 'working on resting'. thats funny. i need to pee. thanks God. i love you. my eyes are droopy and thats ok.
Tuesday, March 11, 2014
Conversations with God
Tina: An excerpt from my morning pages:
"I want to hear God. I want to know what to do next. What do I need to do here in Detroit, God? - Love yourself - Is that really it? I came to the most difficult city in America to learn how to love myself? - If thats what it takes, yes. And you will be back here again or harder places, however long it takes to learn child. - learn what? - that you are enough. that you are enough even if you watch tv every night. even if you lie or sit all day, you still are enough. - So you're saying I need to learn to love myself even when i feel like a total waste? - something like that - so how do I do it? Just accept it? That's what CJ says - you don't have to accept it. it can still be painful, but you can embrace it. settle into that couch. know that new things will be coming, but treat the couch as if it is just as hard as grad school or being super busy. does that make sense? just because it is the couch or an office doesn't make it 'easier'. it's still just as hard (if not harder) for you - ok. i think i get it. it makes sense. so i need to get cozy. really sit into it. sink into it and still love myself for all that i am - yup - do you think i can do it? - this is what you wanted. you wanted this life to be about facing your greatest challenge yet, yourself. you've become quite a monster to yourself and you are a brave, brave, brave soul for doing this. i'm proud of you - thanks. so this is not a 'rest life'? - haha no, you, rest? - I guess with the appearance of nothing to do, it sometimes feel like resting and that gets me scared - that is exactly what you wanted to face. you've had plenty of busy lives. you can get yourself thru anything my dear- thanks. thank you. i'm glad to hear you so clearly right now. i'm grateful - me as well - thanks. i suppose i don't have to say goodbye because you never really leave - true - ha. ok. well thanks. i'm going to go back to sitting and 'working on resting'. thats funny. i need to pee. thanks God. i love you. my eyes are droopy and thats ok.
"I want to hear God. I want to know what to do next. What do I need to do here in Detroit, God? - Love yourself - Is that really it? I came to the most difficult city in America to learn how to love myself? - If thats what it takes, yes. And you will be back here again or harder places, however long it takes to learn child. - learn what? - that you are enough. that you are enough even if you watch tv every night. even if you lie or sit all day, you still are enough. - So you're saying I need to learn to love myself even when i feel like a total waste? - something like that - so how do I do it? Just accept it? That's what CJ says - you don't have to accept it. it can still be painful, but you can embrace it. settle into that couch. know that new things will be coming, but treat the couch as if it is just as hard as grad school or being super busy. does that make sense? just because it is the couch or an office doesn't make it 'easier'. it's still just as hard (if not harder) for you - ok. i think i get it. it makes sense. so i need to get cozy. really sit into it. sink into it and still love myself for all that i am - yup - do you think i can do it? - this is what you wanted. you wanted this life to be about facing your greatest challenge yet, yourself. you've become quite a monster to yourself and you are a brave, brave, brave soul for doing this. i'm proud of you - thanks. so this is not a 'rest life'? - haha no, you, rest? - I guess with the appearance of nothing to do, it sometimes feel like resting and that gets me scared - that is exactly what you wanted to face. you've had plenty of busy lives. you can get yourself thru anything my dear- thanks. thank you. i'm glad to hear you so clearly right now. i'm grateful - me as well - thanks. i suppose i don't have to say goodbye because you never really leave - true - ha. ok. well thanks. i'm going to go back to sitting and 'working on resting'. thats funny. i need to pee. thanks God. i love you. my eyes are droopy and thats ok.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment