20 Something Tries To Communicate

Tina: My turn to blog! Technically I'm at work. Technically I shouldn't be doing 'personal' things. Meh.

Today I am consumed with thoughts of "The 20 Something Project" (working title) (the newest Sparrow creation) This is me & CJ's recent conception. We're still working on our project description, so forgive me for the informal explanation: We're looking to interview/meet people age 21-27 and ask them a few big ticket questions about their PURPOSE. I'm curious about the identity of our generation and how everyone is handling the transition from youth to adulthood. I know I'm not the only one wrestling with my purpose. I want to know how other people my age are figuring out why they are alive.

SO, we're starting to have weekly rehearsals and meetings where we begin to organize this process, form a timeline, goals and so on. (Of course we're going to be documenting the whole sucker) (Hence, we are a generation of documentation) (What is that about btw? Are we afraid of being forgotten in the ocean of an overpopulated internet?) Anyways, if any of you have title suggestions, please throw them our way! I like 20 Something, but we're at the beginning of this road and would love feedback.

Random activity: I found this in Dr. Rosenberg's book "Nonviolent Communication" and I find it fascinating. Make a list of all the things that you tell yourself you have to do. List any activity you dread but do anyway because you perceive yourself to have no choice. Then insert the words "I choose to" in front of each item you listed. (acknowledging that you don't HAVE to do anything, you CHOOSE to do the things you do) Next add to the list "I choose to...because I want..." (helps to identify the intention behind  your choice) (What needs do you have? Money? Approval? Escape punishment? Avoid shame or guilt?)

sum thinkingz

CJ:
To speak honestly is tough to do. It is beneficial for the speaker of truth.

The pain of truth telling (one's own truth) is always rewarded by karma (one's own internal karma).

We slide our truth here and there, for convenience, and often for the sake of the other (we often feel it kind to slide our truth). The small untruths are harmless and convenient but indulging in such untruths develops a habit.

And humanity is not so much a decision making creature as it is a habit forming creature.

Guess Who's 23?

Thaw

Tina: Aloha! it is beginning to flurry (is that a verb?) outside, so I suppose "aloha" is not necessarily appropriate...but ehh if thats what it takes to survive this crazy winter, I'm in. The weather is going back to its usual frigid-ness and it seems our brief thaw has come to a close. Let me introduce you to my newest collage: "February"

Gandhi at 7:30 AM

CJ: I was surprised to find out this morning that Gandhi harbored a lot of regret- at least thats how it sounded during the first parts of his autobiography. I think he was actually expressing a sort of repentance. The book sounds like its written as an explanation to God. For Gandhi, the practice of renunciation is inherently good. He also said that religion is essentially moral- which made me think of Nietzche's Beyond Good and Evil.

I was asked what my dream job would be recently, during a job interview. I honestly don't know. I said, "getting paid to make music, and go on tour." ...nice.

If I could go back I would say revolutionary leader and orator.

Silence Class!

Today was a big day at the Water House! We finally got a chance to do what we wanted to originally do with this space: use it for art/theatre/performance projects.

Today we hosted (and I taught) a workshop on Silence for the Hamtramck Free School. I've taught a version of this class last year in DC for a different Free School.

(A free school is kind of what it sounds like, all classes are free taught for and by the community. In DC they had a class called "Intro to Lockpicking" haha The point is to broaden our experience of education and empower the community to be lifelong teachers and students)

Detroit is starting their own Free School and I'm grateful to be a part of it. Today I taught a class entirely in silence. I tried to facilitate a vulnerable experience that focuses on using the body for expression and meditation. I also learned today, that it is essential to have this class in a group setting because there is something that happens socially which amplifies the vulnerability factor (also amping up the discomfort and the self-discovery). CJ assisted me and I could not have done it without him. Its tough to teach without speaking!

We cleared out the front room in our apartment to hold the workshop. It actually felt amazing to clean all the nooks and crannies and feel like we have a fresh start here again.

Also, yesterday I had a great day volunteering with Brides Against Breast Cancer. I seriously love weddings. I always have. I think I just like happy people. Needless to say, when I found the chance to volunteer at a bridal sale I jumped on it. I spent yesterday helping girls find and try on their dream dresses! Seriously, I had too much fun. I also jumped on the opportunity to model a wedding dress for the Detroit News!?! So I also did that yesterday which was a blast and a half. I'll post the link when I can find it!

Needless to say it was a packed weekend with a lot of growth. (and sun?! THANK YOU weather gods!)

CJ:

There are places I remember.

I am not alone in this : we remember together

The two of us : a hairline between it

this was our remembrance

-

three states of being:

awake, dreaming, dreamless sleep

-

many ways of finding God.

Exhaustion!

Tina: 

Call it lame, call it silly: 

CJ and I are exhausted beyond belief! 

Not really sure why...

perhaps it has something to do with my new job schedule and waking up early early early. 

Anyways, sorry for this tiny post but it is SO time for sleep. 

Also, the sun ALMOST came out today and it was ALMOST glorious. 

We wait for spring. 

New Office

Tina:

Snapshots of my new office  

(This is what happens when I have free reign to decorate...) 

(more still left to come)

I'm exhausted and unsure about

posting things about an office that i work at.

wondering when i'll find home

it rained today

i felt lucky

BEFORE

AFTER

 

On Clean Breaks

CJ: As children, some of us become accustomed to familiarity. If you are like me, you enjoyed friends whose future presence was assumed. You may also have enjoyed family close at hand.

For me, adulthood is marked by a shift in these relationships. With the exception of Tina, the people who are most important to me are distant. I see those that I truly know and love at intervals, chapters, special days.

Seeing Max last night was the first time I had seen anyone from college since graduating. I have had the clean break I always dreamed of.

I know that this time is important, but I also know that if my past self spoke to my present self, my past self would be disappointed with my present tone of voice. I have that tone I promised I'd never get, the tone that says, "I haven't done what I thought I would." And it is true.

BUT- what my younger self couldn't have understood is that I am not ashamed.

Welcome Max!

Tina: 

Max came to visit us tonight! He is a good friend from college days. 

We all did some recording and singing and rapping and had a lovely night of joy. 

Max has a gentle way of shifting energy into the sun.

We are a pit stop on his journey to a new job and a new life in Nashville. 

We wish him well, well, well. 

CJ: I am reading Detroit, An American Autopsy by Charlie Leduff, as was recommended to me by Tina.

It has created a tension in me, which can be good in art. I can't believe it is the same city as the city I live in, but that doesn't mean it isn't real or important. Detroit is a big place, so big that no one can see it all at once. Which means that everyone has a slightly different view (if not an entirely different perspective).

Zoom In

A zoom in shot of a Tina/CJ painting!

Tina:

Unbelievably ordinary things.
Why does laundry take so long?
Sunday cooking
Sunday prayers
Sunday dinners


My dad always says Sunday nights make him sad.


He has to get up at 5am
for work
Take the train
over and over and over
My mom drives him in the mornings
and picks him at night

Fridays make him happy, Sundays make him sad.

I always end up cooking a lot on Sundays and thinking about things. 

I am grateful for this life. I really am.

I got cast as a lead in my first professional show.

"Daisy"

My favorite flower. 

Movie Review: The Painting

CJ:

Tina and I discovered a great movie today and I thought I'd share it with y'all. It's a french animated film called The Painting. We thought the filmmakers did a great job of pushing the form of animation by using what can be described as different styles to depict different characters, settings, and perhaps even different dimensions. The pacing was wonderful throughout and the score was subtle and classic but well done. The characters in The Painting speak there truth from the start of the movie, which reminded me of Shakespeare. The script broke the forth wall repeatedly, which gave the film a philosophical bend.

We LOVED this movie. It is a Water House recommendation for viewers of all ages. If you watch the movie, let us know what you thought!

Happy Valentines Day Everybody!

Thursday, Feb. 13th!

Couldn't get it uploaded in time last night, but here's CJ's Thursday entry!

Couch Talk With Tina

God Gives Slowly

CJ:

we hope to high heaven there's a way up : i s'pose cause we were told to

find it oh we'll find i can tell

by light of lamp and smells of almost : i can tell

so i'll kiss the ring of patience : anxious

tell story after story : episodes

and think back and remember there's always a future for us

"if i work hard, god will give me more work"

god gave it to me slow.

1 Month of Blogging!

We've been blogging every day for a month! I think thats a pretty big accomplishment!

I'm proud of us for really sticking this out. Its fun to blog and it makes it way easier to split it with someone. Although the internet confuses me, I'm grateful  for the documentation today. I think this will be nice to look back on. In terms of viewers, things are really spiking for us over here and THANK YOU to those of you who are checking in. I hope we offer some interesting thoughts. Most days I feel like I live in a vacuum... an isolated igloo in the dead of night. Me and CJ are really alone here (in case you didn't get it by my other explanations haha) and its nice to know that we are really not as alone as we think.

Today was the first full day of my full time job and I have my own tiny office with marroon carpeting and natural sunlight. There's something about the room that is really homey. Perhaps it is because I've covered it with fake flowers that will reside in my car in the springtime. Hey, if spring isn't coming any time soon, I've got to shamelessly surround myself with plastic spring. I'll take what I can get haha.

The Sun Hour Beckons

CJ:
Everyday, for about an hour, the sun shines directly onto my couch. I call it the sun hour and it is GLORIOUS. In a winter like this a couple hours of UV go a long way. I can only catch it when I'm not working so that means the sun hour is a weekend treat.

Other weekend staples include taking Nyla to the old tigers stadium (where she can stretch and reach her stride), cooking huge portions so that the leftovers last until next weekend, and pots of green tea on rotation.

It's been a pleasantly regular weekend here at the water house. I forgot to mention my favorite weekend staple: releasing new music! This week I am releasing a little diddy called "somebody younger comes". I rap about the human condition, and indeed there is always someone younger coming. Here's a test photo we took, make sure to check out the link to the video below.

new whitelotus vid!

Prayer

sunrise thru the storm door

Tina:

battling winter blues
like a tired lion
i am told there are seeds beneath earth
that are moving
i am told there is hope
i am told i look beautiful in pictures

i do | n't believe them.

god is a fierce competitor
like a fitness trainer
how far can he push?
how far will i bend?

my hands are raw
my feet are raw

i am a living marathon.
-----------------------



I feel shame for my sadness.
I miss the past.

The Seal Is Broken

CJ: Tina performed at the MOCAD tonight! I couldn't be more proud and excited tonight.

The MOCAD (Museum of Contemporary Art in Detroit) is around the corner from the cafe I work at and is one of the first places Tina and I visited in our attempts to "learn" detroit culture.

There were all kinds of people in attendance, varying ages, varying life stages, genders, and styles.

Tina was asked to fake her death a couple of times during the course of the night, and each "death" was unique.

Maybe it is somehow fitting that her first performance here was a fake death, considering her internal struggles here.

I was so excited to play the supporting role tonight and watch her shake the rust off and move! Tina has a raw gift that is both blaring and subtle, and it is always a joy to watch her work.

After the opening part of the night, in which Tina and a few others performed in various capacities, there was a rap performance. It's always good to see musical performances for me. I consider any opportunity to see someone perform music to be a learning experience.

So then! I suppose Tina has broken the seal with style for us here in the Water House. We have been brewing away and I can feel a spring awakening around the corner... or maybe around a couple (snowy wind-blown) corners.

Money Makes Me Squirmy

Tina: money makes me squirm!

like a parasite in my system

Our green door!

nerves fill my sockets

in lieu of the change in my pockets

i made a grocery list today

and changed the number of mac and cheese 

from 4 boxes to 2

because we need to cut costs like that

full time work has yet to pay its rewards

through our grocery bill

another ramen night isn't so bad

i can get clever with this

one meal at a time

to save one cent

--------------------

God has my back

I've finished another journal.

will we ever get used to the fact that it costs money just to be alive?

i'm learning about mortgages and these things

will we ever get used to the weight of it all?

will our muscles grow stronger?

Here are some pictures to remind me of peace and beautiful things.

Here's our building in the sunrise!

Explorations

CJ:

There are castles in the sky!
In those castles live children,
exploring all the rooms.

We are in our own space,
living through ourselves and through each other.

This is how we go:
at once a step,
at once two steps,
and finally a leap-

From castle to a castle and
back to castles in the end.

Extra-Ordinary

Tina: We just ate a lot of ice cream and peach pie (which I made yesterday in celebration of my promotion!)

CJ: I didn't mention it in yesterday's post, but Tina announced proudly that yesterday was one of the best monday's she had in years! So today, we enjoy the pie she made yesterday.

Tina: I also edited this blog today, cool right? I don't have too much to offer today. I feel like something clicked for us and we've finally settled in here. Oh, and we're expecting 6' of snow tonight! Crazy! 

CJ: I was rapping in my armchair today :)

CJ (again): In conclusion, this has been and extraordinary regular day and we hope the same is true for you out there!

Dad

"I do not know what it is like to walk "blameless," so I do not dare say what paths we should take, but I just wanted to let you know that I thought of you both, your paths you have taken in Detroit, that your efforts are not wasted, and will be witnessed in the presence of the Light.

Joy and Grace,

...and Love,"

-Mako


"Thank you dad, I love you.

You are an amazing communicator! You have always found a way to express yourself through whatever medium you come into contact with.

I was talking with Ty, Priscilla, Lydia, and Theo over skype and Priscilla noted (aptly) how we're always talking about you. And its true! Us kids are always trying to figure you out.

Your a very strange person- and beautiful. Tina was moved by how you stopped everything to read Les Mis from the original text.

I remember how you always sent me letters throughout college. I have lost many of them...regretfully. But I know I have at least some of them saved away, and I'm grateful to my bewildered younger self for managing not to lose the ones I still have.

Like I've told you, you were born on the cusp of the new year, and you are living on the cusp of a new era. An era which you have embraced wholeheartedly and gracefully. I admire you for it."

-CJ

Collages and Communication

Tina: Meet my new projects!!!

Here is the craft cabinet we got yesterday. I LOVE this thing so much. So far, I've collaged it with modge podge and scraps of paper from this antique air and space magazine I found in the give-away pile at the bookstore. Its one of my favorite things to use for collage because the pages are yellow with age and beautiful! I'll probably add stuff to this craft cabinet, but for now I'm really happy with it! It was wayyy too dark for our place and the paper lightens it up! 

My other weekend project was the fridge! It was super cluttered and scrappy before, so I decided to turn it into a collage piece (classic)

Another piece of Water House life that it is time to address is our "Sunday Questions". I got this idea from a blog I found on Pinterest. (Today's Letters Blog) Basically every Sunday, we take time to ask each other 5 simple questions to check in with our relationship and life together. We've been doing it since early November and its kind of awesome. The questions may sound silly, but they really have been helping us to get on the same page and give us clear things to DO for each other during the week. My favorite is the prayer question. It is a great opportunity to include God in our relationship which makes me feel all warm and fuzzy.

Einstein always finds his way into my collages...I think he approves of Sunday Questions hahaha

But really tho, these questions are really working for me and CJ because they give us an outlet to identify and communicate our needs! 

Today

CJ:
Today, we bought a cabinet looking workstation for Tina's crafty doings.

Today, Nyla chewed the corner off of our table! I was upset. I am upset. I'll get over it.

Today, it rained in Detroit. I can't decide if that's better or worse than snow, but at least it was warm! (35 degrees...)

Today, I tried making a yellow rice dish. It turned out okay but I think it looked better than it tasted. (Note: the plate is left unfinished.)

Today, Tina and I went through a range of emotions, somehow. We were exasperated when we found  the mess the Nyla had lovingly created for us. We were pensive in deliberation at the thrift store. We were elated when we threw out an old chair that wasn't helping our feng shui.

Today, we met our neighbor. Actually, it was the second time we had met her (Tiffany is her name), but the first time was brief. This encounter felt humanizing, i think, for both us and her. It can be for too easy to create a false image of your neighbors. (Especially when you can hear them through the walls.) It's so easy to judge!