CJ: As children, some of us become accustomed to familiarity. If you are like me, you enjoyed friends whose future presence was assumed. You may also have enjoyed family close at hand.
For me, adulthood is marked by a shift in these relationships. With the exception of Tina, the people who are most important to me are distant. I see those that I truly know and love at intervals, chapters, special days.
Seeing Max last night was the first time I had seen anyone from college since graduating. I have had the clean break I always dreamed of.
I know that this time is important, but I also know that if my past self spoke to my present self, my past self would be disappointed with my present tone of voice. I have that tone I promised I'd never get, the tone that says, "I haven't done what I thought I would." And it is true.
BUT- what my younger self couldn't have understood is that I am not ashamed.
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