Tina: I am afraid of many things, but one thing that has surprised me about myself (that has changed upon graduating college) is my tendency to be negative. Although I was very sad in Detroit, I didn't attribute my negativity to myself, instead I thought it was because of xyz external blah blah blah. BUT now that I'm in a different environment where many of my Detroit worries and concerns have disappeared, other things come to the center ring. I feel like I've swung into general doubt about the world, art, and myself. I miss having faith in the beauty and impact of things. I miss having faith in myself.
In high school we used to do this thing called "shitting rainbows" where we would pretend we were over-the-top happy even if we weren't. At first it was definitely acting, but as the day went on we forgot about it. I believe the phrase, "fake it till you make it" is a similar idea, but I think there's something charming about "shitting rainbows" if I do say so myself. I'm tempted to find a picture that illustrates this concept (there are plenty out there haha) BUT I thought I would show a picture that my friend found today that I thought was just as fitting :)
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